It is hard to believe that we are already on Session 10 of our study with Bill and Anabel Gillham. Indeed, next week, we will conclude our DVD Study of "The Life". Fortunately, our church has provided each couple in our class with a copy of Bill and Anabel's book so that you can study their work in more detail.
The focus of today's session deals with each partner in a marriage union knowing the individual roles assigned to the husband and the wife. Such knowledge can be exciting and anxiety provoking. It is exciting in that we better understand our own needs and have the information we need to meet the needs of our spouse. It is anxiety provoking in that we are fearful that our spouse will fail to meet our needs, or that we can't satisfy the needs of our spouse.
Keep in mind that God doesn't expect us to persevere in our own strength to keep these assigned roles. His plan is for us to allow Christ to be our perseverance, our patience, our love, our gentleness. He wants to do it all for us.
The Emotional Needs of the Male
The basic emotional need of the male is found in Ephesians 5:33. He needs female praise. According to Bill, praise is a God-given need that is evident from an early age. A boy's mother will be the one who initially meets this need. A male's need for female praise is ultimately centered on his wife, who has been instructed by God to meet this need. Praise is accomplished through the wife by the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit and is to be exercised as an act of obedience. Keep in mind: It is not hypocritical to praise your husband when your feelings may not be in agreement.
The perceptual needs of the male include the belief that he is the head of the relationship. This is an innate need--not an ego problem. This is not an honor to be bestowed upon the male for good performance. Competition from his wife can be very destructive to a man. Marriage is not a competition, but a joint endeavor that brings glory to God.
The Emotional Needs of the Female
The emotional needs of the female are summarized by the list above. The twenty ways to love your wife are as vital to the female as praise is to the male. This performance by the husband can be accomplished only as he allows the indwelling of the Holy Spirit to do it through him.
Have a great week.
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