September 12--Marriage Part 3

As we begin this final session of "The Life" with Bill and Anabel Gillham, I would be remiss if I did not wish my lovely wife Cindy a Happy and Blessed Birthday. Yes, today is her birthday and I am so thankful for her. Growing in the Church and growing in Christ with Cindy has been a blessing beyond description. Like most couples, we don't always see things the same way, but our life together has been a great one and I have been blessed beyond measure to have her as my wife.

Many of the things taught by Bill and Anabel have been true in our marriage as well. As I think about our family and pray for my girls even now, I often pray that the Lord will introduce them to God-loving, God-worshipping, Christian young men when and if His plan calls for them to have a partner in life. I want my girls to experience the joy of growing in a Christian marriage relationship, growing in the Church, and growing in Christ along with a loving partner if that is the Lord's will. Therefore, I pray regularly for those young men, whoever they may be, wherever they are in the world, even before we know who they are. And, I thank God daily that He gave me such a person with whom to share my life. Happy Birthday, Cindy!




Bill makes the point in today's lesson that most of us enter into the most important human relationship in life, marriage, without adequate preparation. God knows that we need instruction and He gives it to us in His Word. Bill suggests that we must recognize and confess our inability to carry out His instructions, and then determine to trust Christ to express through us the knowledge we gain about marriage from His Word.

In comparing the decision-making process for males and females, Bill states that it is generally true that males base decisions on systematic logic while females tend to base decisions on intuition or at least arrive at the decision through intuitive processes. He points out that neither process is wrong--they are just different. Bill states that it is the husband's responsibility to make a final decision for the family only after much prayer and discussion and consideration of his wife's viewpoint. The wife should then honor the husband's decision and be supportive, especially in front of the children. How often do you undermine your spouse's decisions or points of view in front of the children? We must be careful. This undermining can be subtle and even can be inadvertent.

Anabel points out that the wife in a modern marriage is often influenced by cultural norms that tend to reduce her role in the marriage to a sex object or to minimize her influence on pre-school age children, or limit her responsibility in the home to cleaning and organizing the house. In reality, God describes and directs the role that women should play in the sex relationship, in the homemaker role, and in the social and spiritual development of children. I especially appreciated the statement Anabel made, "A woman is never in an inferior place when she is in the place God created for her." She also pointed out that women who work outside the home are not necessarily missing God's will, provided their responsibilities at home are not compromised. She made reference to the Proverbs 31 Woman. You may want to take a look at Proverbs 31.

Bill and Anabel also point out that "Agape" love is crucial in any marriage (John 13:34). They define "agape" love as "doing whatever is the most constructive, redemptive thing for your spouse, regardless of the situation or circumstances."

Bill and Anabel also review the six perceptual needs of the female in a marriage relationship as derived from the description of the relationship between Christ and the Church. Those needs are:

1. Listen to me.
2. Let me know that you are thinking about me.
3. Tell me that you love me.
4. Be aware of me.
5. Spend time with me.
6. Don't be harsh with me.

A key concept from today's lesson is this: "Satan is putting forth every effort to blur the roles that differentiate the two genders. Following the enemy's plan instead of God's guarantees a marriage vulnerable to destruction."

FOR PERSONAL REFLECTION
Do you understand that your fundamental role is choosing to be obedient to Christ? Have you really tried to follow His plan for your marriage? Or have you been rebellious, believing you have the right to demand that your needs be met before you will meet your spouse's needs?

Perhaps you've viewed your marriage as a tangled mess that seemed impossible to realign on Godly principles? But now you see the Biblical foundation for marriage and have an understanding of where the power to begin loving your spouse comes from. Confess your need and unreserved dependence on Him to live His life through you and so make your marriage all He intended it to be."

I want to encourage you to read the book, "The Lifetime Guarantee" that the church provided with this curriculum. Cindy began reading our copy and she said it is an excellent supplement to the DVD Curriculum. I plan to read our copy after she finishes. Several class members testified regarding the relevance and impact that they have experienced from reading this book. If anyone wishes to obtain a copy of the book, shoot me an e-mail, comment on this blog, or let me know verbally and we will get you a copy. E-mail: jimmycreel@suddenlink.net

NEXT WEEK: We will begin a six week session with Andy Stanley called, "The Five Ways God Grows Your Faith."

REMINDER: END OF SUMMER SWIMMING PARTY--after Church on September 26 @ Emerald Forest Swimming Pool. Bring a picnic main course for your family and some to share and a dessert or salad entree to share. We will provide ice, tea, water, cups and a place for your kids to swim.....and you too if you like. We have the pool reserved from 12:30 p.m. until 2:30 p.m. and if anyone wants to stay later than that, you can swim as Cindy and my guest.

WELCOME BACK TO SOME OF OUR CLASS MEMBERS WHOM WE HAVE NOT SEEN IN A WHILE

As you know, every year, there are members of our class who answer the call to serve in other capacities in our Sunday Morning Bible Study Program, making it impossible for them to be with our class on a regular basis. Also, there are class members who move to other classes or even some who move to other cities on a temporary basis and then return to our class. Even so, we are always glad to see our former class members again. In the past few weeks, including today, we have been honored to have Craig and Vicki Hillert, Dewayne and Leslie Whitten, and Rex and Leslie Woods joining us in class. I hope you will make a point to welcome these folks and, if you do not know them, to introduce yourself. At the same time, we need to be praying for those couples in our class who are serving in other capacities in our church this year and will not be able to join us on a regular basis. We will always make an effort to be sure they are aware of any activites scheduled for our class and that they are invited to join us in fellowship.

HAVE A BLESSED WEEK!